Well, I say much. Maybe they’ve changed a little. I guess my problem has been that I’ve been spoiled with Splinter Cell for far two long – especially Double Agent – and I found it difficult at first to admit to myself that yes, it wasn’t no Splinter Cell, but Metal Gear Solid was never meant to be.

But lord, all that rambling on is soul-destroying. Somehow, I’ve been able to put up with it in my younger years when I didn’t understand much of the words being used, but in my older age I cottoned on to the fact that yes, every character does speak utter bullshit.

But no matter. It’s all about the story as a whole right? Well, it’s meant to be, but what we’ve got here is a story more ridiculous than a joint-writing process between M. Night Shyamalan and Tenacious D.

So maybe the characters are something you can warm to? Well, you’ve got Old Snake, who miraculously– despite having developed some sort of age-accelerating disease – manages to look not a day older than what he probably should do. The Colonel is back, though apparently he’s a shoe-shiner now or something and most definitely not your colonel so stop calling him that. And completing The Same Old Team is Otacon, everybody’s favourite geek. Beyond those three main characters, old Hideo takes a somewhat kitchen sink approach to character introductions, i.e. he introduces every last one that has ever been in a Metal Gear Solid game. You certainly can’t accuse Hideo of not wrapping up his stories.

However, the kitchen sink approach does have one minor flaw: it manages to make the game even more confusing than it already is. Yes, Kojima has managed the previously-thought impossibility of making his MGS even more confusing. And in the end, you just feel like you’re moving from one level to the next, not having a clue of why you’re there and why you should bother.

If this game was anything other than Metal Gear Solid though, I would have left it right there. I would have left it on a negative note, letting you think that I hate this new instalment. But you know what? Despite all its flaws, despite its ridiculous story and despite the fact that it’s more stuck in its ways than a 98 year old, I love MGS4.

I think it’s nostalgia. There’s no other excuse. Don’t get me wrong, MGS4 is by no means a bad game to play, but it’s far from the genre-leader that it once was. It’s enjoyable for a length of time, but the reason you’ll stick with this until the end is because you want to see what happens to Snake and the other 2 billion characters.

Truth is, I could have said anything in this review and it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference to your opinion. You’ve probably already bought it. The bottom line is this: if you’re a fan of MGS, you’ve got to play this, and you probably already are doing.

If you’re not a fan, then you’re very lucky indeed. Like a big fat chocolate cake, MGS4 is so wrong, but somehow – by some sort of divine intervention combined with blind conviction in its storytelling – brilliant at the same time.