Got this in the inbox today. Not sure of the purpose of it exactly or what it is selling, but this has to be the most elaborate spam I’ve ever received.

Unless… I really have a Russian admirer?

Hi,
I have seen yours account and e-mail on a site of acquaintances. I have remembered this site Dating. I have thought and have decided to write a letter to you. I am looking for a good person. Probably it is impossible, but I search love in the Internet.
I ask you to understood me. I think that probably you and I can create great and fair relations. I wanna get acquainted with you better. I want to arrive to the United Kingdom soon.

Some words about me. I am a Russian woman. My native land is Russia. My city is Sankt-Petersburg. I hope you do not think about Russian women badly. I know that many bad people create bad impression of Russian women. I want to say at once that I will not ask you for money. I want to find love only. And may be big happiness.
Why do I search for the man in your country? My best girlfriend lives in the UK. She got married English man. They are very happy together. Such happens!
My girlfriend advised me to look for the man in Great Britain United Kingdom. She is assured that I can find a good man. I agree. Everything is possible in our world! I am sure that I can find a good and fair man in the UK.

I can arrive to the United Kingdom at any time. As soon as I want. I have a visa and the sanction to entry to the UK. I can arrive to Great Britain at any time. My girlfriend will give me money for my trip in the UK. She will pay my trip and charges. We are friends for a very long time. We always helped each other. And my girlfriend wants to help me to arrive to the UK. I can arrive to the man which will want to create love with me. May be it is you?
My girlfriend has explained to me, that I shouldn’t worry about money. She can provide me with everything. Also in the future she can give me good work with the big salary. If I wish to remain in United Kingdom. And if I find a good man.

I wish true and serious relations. I do not understand and I do not wish to play games. I will be happy to learn you as better as it is possible and i am ready to start to build serious relations. We can try only for the beginning. We can try to create love and happiness. I think that there are no distances and barrier for love. Only people make miracles. May be me and you will create a miracle which will be called love. Do you agree with me?
I will be glad to arrive to United Kingdom and create big feelings with you. I believe in love and in good people. I think that you are a good person.

I shall wait for your answer. I shall tell you about myself as it is possible more in detail in the following letter. Write to me. Your letter will make me the happiest woman. I will wait for your letter. Promise to answer.
I wrote you this letter from general e-mail in the Internet-cafe. Write me the answer to my personal e-mail.

It is my personal e-mail:
[removed]@yahoo.com

I wait for your answer. I hope that you understood me. I want the only thing. To be happy!!!

Your Elena.

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Who am I?

I'm Craig Burgess. I'm a graphic designer. I like writing (obviously), and I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. I also take a keen interest in photography, even though I take a lot of pictures of my thumbs and fingers.

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The Last
Leck My Arse
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...and this Republic is in Panic.
Darfuria
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