What is January for? There isn’t anything to get excited about, because the best time of the year has just finished. Worse still; if your birthday is around January you get crap presents because Christmas has just gone. January ends up becoming an endless month of Mondays – an ‘oh no not again’ feeling.
Come to think of it, the majority of the first half of the year is pretty pointless. April is alright, because we have the 1st day of it to play evil tricks on people. April Fools is probably the only day where you can get away with a barefaced lie, then tell the truth and not get told off. Alas, April 2nd will turn up and we’re back to square one again.
Then there’s summer. Although summer seems to make everyone happier, I must admit that I’m not a big fan of the warmth. Being blessed with ginger means my skin melts at a couple of degrees above freezing point, so the entirety of summer is usually spent with shovels of Factor 4000 sun cream gloopily spread across my body. Strangely though, my arms go brown, so I end up looking like I’ve been walking around in a sun-proof sheet with just the bottom of my arms sticking out.
It’s only as we get towards the downward stretch of the year that things become interesting again. Christmas might be 6 months away, but at least it’s the last 6 months of the year. Unfortunately, it will only be 7 months away from the next January, but I’ll not dwell on that.
The absolute worst thing about January though is getting used to them again. You’ve more than likely had a bit of time off over Christmas which involved a period of doing literally nothing. You’ve probably also had multiple days where you could sleep in for as long as you want. The only problem with that is not the actual sleeping in: it’s getting used not being allowed to sleep in again. And that’s what January is – one long kick in the balls reminding you that you can’t sleep in.
Can’t wait. Literally in fact. Seeing as though it’s here already.
Jan 11, 07:10 PM
Darfuria
You sound like a Christmas-obsessed time-hating cynic. Januaray – March are, of course, the months of birthdays!
January is a period of time manufactured by narcissistic, loathing business owners who like to make people feel like they’ve been ripped off by lowering prices on all of their stock right after everyone spent so much money.
February/March time is when Spring starts to show its tired face, and is a period of time knitted with God’s smiting hands, right after his wife came in and told him to “stop watching that”. It is the time of year where God says “You haven’t done enough to deserve a plague of locusts, but I can still make your face look like red bubble wrap”, as all of us with hay fever walk around sneezing our way through conversations. A look at the bins in our home make it seem like we’ve been trying to masturbate ourselves into a coma out of sheer despair.
But hey, the best thing about it being January is the fact it’s a fresh start to a new year, and that always brings me a lot of optimism and motivation.
Jan 11, 09:25 PM
Rob
And not forgetting the debt! Everyones in debt come January, after December the month of, ‘Balls, I’ll pay for it next year…”
Jan 12, 09:29 PM
ciara
the rain has made jan really suck, but baseball/softball tryouts were today and that was fun to watch (my oldest girl is playing). PLUS i’m ‘broker than a mess of eggs’ lol
nov is a fab month…isn’t my being born that month reason enough to make it so? lol
