Who on this fine – but equally rather confusing and terrifying – green earth is taking all my frigging PENS? I use a pen one day, and come back the next day and it’s gone.
No matter where I go: work, college, home, someone else’s house, by the end of the day I am one pen down. Always. I spend loads on pens, and it doesn’t seem to matter if I buy an industrial drum of Biros or one ‘special’ pen. They all still go missing. The situation is now so desperate that I’m using an erectionadvice.co.uk pen. God knows where that came from.
I have a theory about all this pen jiggery pokery. Forget the tooth fairy, there’s a pen fairy. No, not fairy – just robber. There’s a pen robber. I can only imagine there’s a lot of money in the industry, and somewhere on this earth there’s a moral-free person sat on a mountain of my pens gleefully chuckling to himself. He nicks your good pens, and replacing them with ones that have embarrassing messages on them.
I imagine that he owns a Porsche or a Ferrari bought entirely with other people’s misplaced stationary products. I bet he gets more for the metal ones, which is why mine always seem to go missing almost instantly. I bet he’s got a massive house from all the money he makes on pen ink.
Parker pens? Millions in those things.
Nov 24, 03:21 PM
Chris
He visits my work regularly except he doesn’t steal it he moves it to an obscure place like the bin or my seat or just somewhere where I can’t find it.
We should get a shiny pen, real class to it, and set a trap and catch him and banish him from stealing pens.
Sounds like a good plan.
