Is it possible to be a cool geek? It’s a question I often ask myself. On the surface, I’m your typical geek – I spend too much time on the Internet, I like playing videogames and I work in the IT industry (sort of). I’ve still not decided whether or not liking classic telly such as The A Team makes me a geek, but it certainly wouldn’t get me a seat with the in-crowd.
I posed the question to a friend the other week. I called myself a geek to him, which I only said half-jokingly. Surprisingly he replied by confirming my suspicions. I am indeed a geek as he ever-so-kindly put, but I’m a “cool geek”.
I’m not quite sure what classifies me as a “cool” geek. A visually impaired dog could probably dress itself better than I can when I’m making an effort, so it certainly isn’t my sense of clothing style. I don’t particularly like the idea of fashion, so I often find myself wearing bright yellow and black trainers, and my pair of bright green converse. If I ever stood in front of that annoying blonde lass from 10 Years Younger who can’t talk properly (I swear I’ve never seen it, honest) she would instantly explode into a thousand pieces, probably spouting something about clashing. So it’s highly unlikely it’s my sense of fashion that makes me cool.
It’s probably not my taste in music either. In fact, it’s definitely not my taste in music. I hate Kylie. I was disgusted when the Spice Girls decided they’d resurface again. I felt similar feelings when Take That came back too. Put simply, I hate nearly everything that’s in the charts, which tends to make conversations about music preeety awkward and follow a pattern like this:
“So, you heard the new Calvin Harris song?”
“Erm… nope. Don’t listen to the radio much.”
“Oh right. OK.”
“Hmm.”
It’s hardly the most exhilarating topic of conversation.
It seems slightly hypocritical nowadays for anyone to be referred to as a geek. Almost all people use computers in their jobs in some way or another, so I propose we should start ridiculing the people who don’t use them. Stay with me here. I’ve probably thought about this a bit too much.
I propose the term Necku to be used. This phrase would be used in a variety of social situations to refer to the computer illiterate, or Non Computer User. Allow me to demonstrate.
“Did you get my eMail last night?”
“No. I never check them, and I wouldn’t know how to send you one back. I always accidentally click delete.”
“Ha. Necku.”
“Eh?”
See. In this social situation the term Necku serves two purposes. 1: to ridicule the Non Computer User about their lack of “Mad Skillz”, and 2: to confuse the Non Computer User.
The term could be especially useful when dealing with angry Non Computer Users, as the following situation demonstrates.
“Gimmie your wallet!”
“‘Scuse me?”
“Your wallet you melon. Give me your chuffiing wallet!”
(Note: rubbish swear words have been inserted for my own amusement.)
“Fudge off Necku.”
“Eh?”
The term Necku in this situation was once again to confuse the Non Computer User (or what we would assume to be one from tell-tale signs), but also to diffuse the potentially dangerous situation. The would-be robber is now frantically confused with a new word that sounds vaguely like Pingu, allowing you to casually walk away with belongings still intact.
So there you go. Start calling people Neckus.
Nov 25, 12:55 PM
Rob
I think in our own ways, where all “Geeks” but when it gets hurled at you from some chav tryna buy a bottle of white lightning, even though hes obviously 12, I don’t realy mind.
